A corporate-unfriendly social network

Unclefucker.net is a social network designed to avoid the tragedy of the commons, the effect that makes other social networks suck, stink, and die.

The tragedy of the commons

You might have noticed a certain pattern with successful social media sites. It goes something like this:

This is the way the world works. Everyone wants to get maximum benefit from a resource, so they exploit every social media channel available to promote their product, or their website, or whatever.

And so your social life becomes a commodity for corporate marketing departments. Switch to another platform and that will eventually go the same way.

It's an unavoidable consequence of success.

Or is it?

Maybe that's just how things are, not how they have to be.

Unclefucker is a poisoned social network. It's deliberately designed not to become mainstream.

By virtue of its name and its approach, unclefucker.net is incompatible with the corporate world.

  • Employers will not ask for your unclefucker username
  • Few media channels will discuss the site
  • No venture capital funds will want to get involved
  • There will be markedly fewer baby pictures
  • Cracker Barrel will not ask you to join them on unclefucker

Unclefucker will never be a billion-dollar business. It will remain our thing.

Like ourselves it will be fun, and stupid, and sometimes boring, and frequently annoying. But it will be annoying because our friends are idiots and not because some twat at Buzzfeed is trying to get us to click on something.


Unclefucker is a social stream app, like Facebook. It is not a chat app.

  • Mobile-first
  • Niche, not mainstream appeal
  • Uncensored
  • Minimalist
  • No advertising, media shares, or sponsored content
  • No real names requirement
  • Not intended for children
  • Spamless, to the extent that we do not even store email addresses

Incidentally, we’re not going to talk about your “squad” or “bae” or any of that pandering crap.


We're not just winging this. Unclefucker has some serious development chops.

  • Open source MIT licensed on GitHub
  • All original development, not a fork
  • Full open JSON API for third-party apps
  • Typescript/Vue front end
  • Node/Mongo back end
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